


It's the Sun In Your Eyes

by Bearandleonardwrite



Series: I'll look after you [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Harry, Comeplay, Emotional Abuse, Facials, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Homophobic Slurs, Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, Like, M/M, Meet-Cute, Oh balls, Rimming, Smut, Snowballing, Top Louis, but just in case, dubious consent kinda, idk - Freeform, if i missed something let me know, it's not i don't think, it's not really, lots of fluff, mentions of self harm, nick is an asshole, non-dates, past self harm, poor baby Harry basically, they have lots of those, very brief and non descriptive but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 03:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3554810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bearandleonardwrite/pseuds/Bearandleonardwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's not the best with relationships. Then he finds Louis.</p><p> </p><p>(Basically; Harry's insecure and hurt, but Louis loves him anyways and knows how to help.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's the Sun In Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Simmie, because she's my platonic soulmate and also my own personal Ziam (Leslie's my Ziam, too). It's amaze.  
> Anyways, enjoy!  
> Title from Bastille 'cause I figured I'd branch out from AM.  
> Update: so, basically, I've gotten a few asks to continue this/add more and I've decided to officially make it a 'verse. The next part should be up in a couple days. =+]
> 
> Update update; my life has been stupid af lately so sorry the sequel is late. It's getting there! Thank you for being patient with me.
> 
> Update update update; I finished the sequel. Amazing. [Here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5182367) it is.

Harry rolls onto his side with a blissful smile on his face. He pulls the blankets up to just underneath his armpits before switching on the lights. 

“You dick, turn the light off,” Nick grumbles from behind him before shoving at his back. 

“Hey,” Harry says, feigning indignance. “You’re gonna have to wake up sooner or later and I thought you’d prefer to do it with your pretty boyfriend next to you.” He rolls to face Nick and props himself up on his elbow, smile blinding. “I like waking up next to you.”

Nick rolls his eyes and covers Harry’s face with his hand. “That’s great, but, no. How many times do I have to tell you we’re not dating before you understand that we’re not dating?” He says, making sure to enunciate every word. “I’d prefer waking up without you in my bed, to be honest. You can go now.” He pulls the blankets over his head and moves away from Harry, mumbling a quiet, “Should’ve gone last night.”

Harry sucks in a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut to force back the tears suddenly forming in his eyes. Calmly, he gets out of bed and walks around the room putting his clothes on as he finds them. Of course he isn’t going to let Nick think it actually bothers him that they definitely aren’t a thing. He already knows that; he just maybe wishes he could change it. 

With a final look to the bed and a soft, “I’ll see you later,” Harry walks out the door and makes the short trip back to his flat. It isn’t a very long walk, maybe a few blocks, but it’s just long enough for Harry to clear his head and make sure he was presentable to the world. Or to his flatmates at least. He knows he isn’t going to hear the end of it if the guys figured out what happened. 

He has barely hung his coat up on the hook by the door before Zayn is going at him. “What the fuck, Harry? Can’t you answer your phone? I’ve been calling, like, every hour since last night. Where the hell have you been?” Harry knows the look on Zayn’s face all too well. It’s his “momma Zayn” face, as Harry so kindly dubbed it. He can see the worry in Zayn’s golden eyes and the lines etched into his forehead. 

It takes all of five seconds before Harry’s face crumbles and he falls into Zayn’s arms. “I was at Nick’s,” he manages to make out between sobs. “He had to remind me that I’m not-- that I’m not important to him. Zee, why doesn’t he love me anymore? What did I do?” By the time he makes it through his sentences, Zayn is hugging him tight and whispering sweet nothings into his hair. Liam’s made his way from the kitchen and is standing next to Zayn, one hand around Zayn’s waist and the other rubbing circles into Harry’s back. 

“Harry, you didn’t do anything. He’s just an arse,” Liam says in the most soothing voice he can muster. “He’s just using you, y’know, ‘cause you haven’t stood up for yourself yet.”

“He wouldn’t do that to me,” Harry says with very little conviction. “He said he loved me.”

 

“Yeah, babes, maybe at some point he did, or he does in his own toxic way. That’s all it is, though, is toxic. You have to get out of it, Haz. You deserve better than that,” Zayn says rather reasonably, much to Harry’s dismay. He hates that Zayn’s always right. 

“I hate that you’re always right,” Harry manages to mumble into Zayn’s chest. “Can we just lay down and have a cuddle? I maybe don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“‘Course we can. Whatever you want, babes. Just try to keep away, okay?” Zayn says and kisses Harry’s forehead. 

 

Harry nods despite knowing that he’s not ready to stay away, not yet at least.  
***  
He doesn't know why he does it, really. There's nothing that makes him feel worse than being unwanted and being treated like he's worthless. He just. He can't stop is the thing. Whenever Nick calls him, he just goes. 

Maybe it's because in the short amount of time they are together he does feel wanted. He feels like someone needs him, that he's done something right. If only that feeling lasted past the night. But it's that same feeling that keeps him going back, that keeps him putting himself through this. 

Harry's never been one to have the attention on him, especially with a best mate that looks like Zayn, so when he has it, even for a second, he latches onto it. It's done more harm than good, really. There's not one relationship he can look back on that was good, or even decent. 

So maybe it's more than just the feeling he gets. Maybe it's because he's used to being treated like this, thinks this is the way these things go. Of course the logical part of his brain says that not true, but he's not always been the most logical. 

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because he thinks he could be the one to turn things around. He could be important enough or special enough to help someone, to fix their problems, to make everything okay. Really, when it comes down to it, he just wants to be that something. The something a person needs in their life to keep going. The light at the end of the tunnel. 

Whatever it is, it makes him answer the phone the next time Nick calls. It's a short conversation. Just a "come over," followed by a click, but it's enough to get him up and dressed. 

Harry makes a point not to let Zayn or Liam know where he's going, even though he knows the silence is more telling. He grabs his jacket off the hook, heads out the door, and walks the familiar path to Nick's house. 

Nick answers on the second knock, of course he does, and pulls Harry in by the lapels of his coat. "Don't know why you bother getting dressed when you know what's gonna happen," he says as he closes the door and pushes Harry up against it. 

Harry doesn't get a word in before Nick has his mouth on him. It's rough, and not in the way Harry likes. It's rough like Nick is mad at him, but more like he's mad at himself. Like he can't believe he's letting himself be with a man again. And Harry knows, God he knows, but for some reason he just lets it happen. 

He lets himself be taken to the bedroom, lets himself be stripped, and lets Nick push him face first into the mattress because he knows Nick doesn't want to see a man looking back at him. The whole things a blur of strong hands and rough moves, biting kisses and stinging words. It lasts about ten minutes, longer than usual, but Harry's learned to detach. He's not really in the moment till its done and Nick is lying behind him, his heavy breaths and his weight on the bed the only thing reminding him he's not alone. 

After Nick's breathing goes back to normal, he lights a cigarette and pats Harry on the head. "That was good," he says. 

Harry lets himself be hopeful and turns to face him, small smile already dancing on his lips. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah," Nick says, barely sparing him a look. "Wouldn't call you if it wasn't." He takes a drag of his cigarette, blows the smoke in Harry's face before he continues. "You should leave soon, though. My girlfriend’s coming in a bit." 

Harry just. Well, he just kinda stares for a bit before he snaps, "You're what? What the fuck do you mean your girlfriend?" 

Nick just shrugs and ashes on the blankets besides him. "My girlfriend. You heard right. She's coming over in a bit." 

"Nick, if you haven't noticed, we just fucked. You're gay. Aren't you of all people aware of that?"

"I'm not gay, Harry," Nick says with such distaste that Harry moves back. "Just because I fuck guys, doesn't mean I'm interested. Sure, you're pretty and you're tight, but what good is that going to do me? Nothing. I'm not going to date you, Harry, you know that. I don't date men, I just fuck them. That's all they're useful for."

Harry gets off the bed and starts to throw his clothes on haphazardly. When he's pulling on his jacket he turns back to Nick, "I know you're not gonna date me, okay? I get it. But you're not doing yourself any good by lying about who you are." 

Nick sits up and fixes Harry with a look that very much makes him feel small in the worst way possible. "Harry, I'm not a fucking queer. Do you get that? I'm not some pansy like you. I will never be like you. You have these problems, Harry, y'know? I'm not blind, I can see the scars. Maybe if you weren't a fag, maybe if you didn't live your life the way you do, you wouldn't have these problems. You wouldn't be fucked up or broken if you realized that there is something seriously wrong with you." 

He puts his cigarette out and raises an eyebrow, clearly waiting for something. When he gets nothing, still waiting for Harry to move or speak, he closes his eyes and rubs his face with both hands. "God, Harry, you're so pathetic. Just leave." So he does. Harry walks out of the flat and runs home. 

When he gets to his flat all the lights are out and he can hear Liam's snores coming from Zayn's bedroom. He walks down the hall and pushes the door open.

What he wasn't expecting was for Zayn to be awake and reading, more than likely waiting for him. Zayn closes his book at the sight of Harry and sets it on the night stand. He sets his glasses on top and motions for Harry. Harry doesn't think he's ever moved faster and in no time he's curled up between Zayn and Liam, his head on Zayn's chest. 

"It's okay, babes," is all Zayn says before Harry starts sobbing into his shirt. He feels two sets of arms fold around him and two bodies pressed against him. Sometime between sobs and kind words from the boys he manages to fall into a fitful sleep. 

***

Harry wakes up tangled in his coat with his face still buried in Zayn’s chest. He grumbles for a bit at the overall uncomfortable feeling, which eventually makes him sit up and throw off his coat. “Can’t believe I fell asleep with my coat on. Slept like shit,” he mumbles before pulling the blankets up over his face. 

Zayn pulls the blankets back down and fixes Harry with a look, “It’s nearly noon. You should get up.”

“Where’s Liam?” Harry manages to ask. The bed is decidedly less full than it was when he fell asleep. 

“Making you breakfast.”

“Shouldn’t he be making you breakfast?”

Zayn ignores his eyebrow wiggle and brushes the fringe out of Harry’s eyes. “No, you really scared him last night, babes. He was a wreck because he was so worried about you; probably slept as well as you did. Breakfast is his way of fixing things, I guess.” 

Harry takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly, “I kinda fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Nah, you didn’t. You just gotta tell us what happened, y’know?” At Harry’s deep frown Zayn continues, “I know you don’t want to talk about it, Harry, but you have to. We love you, babes, and we want to keep you safe.”

“I know, Zee. You guys are just gonna be upset with me and I don’t-” he cuts himself off with a heavy sigh and rubs his hands over his face. “I just don’t want to lose you guys, too.”

“Harry, you’re not going to lose us. Even if you killed Liam, I’d still love you. I’d beat the shit out of you, but I’d still love you,” Zayn says and then pulls Harry in for a hug. “Let’s go get breakfast, okay?” He says and kisses the top of Harry’s head. 

Harry nods his assent and they both get out of the bed and head towards the kitchen. Before they’re even down the hallway, the smell of pancakes and eggs washes over them and Harry’s starting to realize just how hungry he is, having gone to bed without dinner. Zayn gives Liam a brief kiss and then helps him make up the plates while Harry sits down at the kitchen table. 

Liam hands Harry his plate and then sits down across from him, grabs Zayn’s hand when he sits down next to him. Technically, Liam is right-handed, but he’ll eat with his left if it means he can hold Zayn’s hand. They’re totally gross and in love and Harry would hate them if he didn’t think it was beautiful, but he does, so he’s learned to live with. That doesn’t stop him from making gagging noises across the table as he’s cutting up his pancakes. A piece of egg hits him in the head and he looks up glare at whoever threw it, but the serious looks they’re both giving him makes him look back down at his food. 

“Yum, this is great. Thank, Li,” he says as shovels pancakes into his mouth. Clearly he can’t talk with his mouth full, so they’ll have to lay off. Which they do, but only until Harry’s finished his food. As soon as he does, Zayn kicks him under the table and gives him a pointed look. “What?” 

“Oh, we’re pretending nothing happened, then?” Liam asks, one eyebrow raised. “Absolutely not. I spent an hour making these pancakes from scratch. You’re going to talk.” 

Harry’s shoulders slump, but he knows he has to tell them. “Fine. It’s just. I don’t know, it’s stupid.” He lets his head fall to the table next to his plate, holds in the yelp that almost escapes because of the shooting pain going through his forehead now. Probably not his best idea, but it’s better than looking at his friends. “He said he wasn’t gay.” 

When Harry fails to elaborate, Zayn claps his hands together until Harry looks up at him. “Okay, so, what? Like, bisexual or something? Why does that upset you?”

Harry sighs and shakes his head, folds his hands in his lap before pulling them apart again and picking at his nails. “No, like, he doesn’t like men. Just likes to fuck them and leave them. Said he’s never going to date a guy ‘cause it won’t get him anywhere in life or something. You were right, Li,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “Should’ve listened to you.”

“I didn’t want to be right. You know that, don’t you?” Liam asks, genuinely concerned that Harry isn’t aware of how much he wanted it to work this time. 

Harry looks up at him and sees his eyes are as gentle as can be, worry clouding his features. “Yeah, I know.” He scrubs his hands over his face and mumbles through them, “That’s not the worst part.” 

“Okaaay,” Zayn prompts, dragging out the word.

“He said that I was fucked up, broken actually, because I’m gay,” Harry says and lets his hands drop to the table, focuses his gaze on the table as well. “Told me that he can see my scars and I wouldn’t have those types of problems, or be broken, or whatever the fuck, if I wasn’t gay.” 

The kitchen is dead silent, could probably hear a pin drop, for minutes. Harry’s starting to grow weary, thinks he’s just embarrassed himself because he’s making a big deal out of nothing, when Liam stands up so fast his chair falls against the kitchen tiles. “What the fuck!” He yells, slamming his fists on the table. 

Harry startles and looks over to Zayn who’s now trying to placate Liam. “Baby, it’s okay, calm down,” he tries. 

Liam refuses to listen and keeps yelling, fury in his eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with him? I can’t believe he said that to you! How is he any better than any of us if he just runs around and fucks guys to leave them? That’s worse than anything we’ve done. Who cares if we’re gay. Just ‘cause you’re gay doesn’t mean you automatically have problems. Like, what the fuck? I’m gonna beat the shit out of that stupid little weasel.” 

Neither Harry nor Zayn thinks he’s serious till he takes off towards the front door, pulling his jacket on as quickly as he can manage. Harry shoots Zayn a worried look, mouths “stop him,” and watches as Zayn gets up and runs to the door. Liam’s already made it out of the apartment and is halfway down the hall by the time Zayn catches up to him, their voices floating through the open door and into the kitchen. It really just sounds like a bunch of yelling and Harry’s not sure anything’s been resolved until they both walk into the kitchen and sit back down in front him. 

Liam takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. He clears his throat a few times before dropping his hands back to his sides and looks straight at Harry. “I’m sorry, Harry. That was really not fair of me to do. I didn’t mean to freak out like that. I just got really upset that he said those things to you. I would like to talk about it, though, and I promise I’ll be calm.” 

Zayn smiles, clearly proud of himself and his boyfriend. “First off, what a dick. I don’t know why he thinks he has the right to say those things to you. Second, your scars are part of who you are and he shouldn’t throw that in your face. Most importantly, though, you are not broken. Do you hear me, Harry? People can’t be broken. Glass and pottery break, people do not.” 

The stinging is back in Harry’s eyes no matter how many times he promised himself he wouldn’t cry again. “What if he’s right, though? What if there is something wrong with me because I’m gay?” 

“No, absolutely not. That’s like saying you’re not allowed to have green eyes. It’s a part of who you are, a part you can’t change. Something you shouldn’t want to change. It makes you who you are, babes, and you’re a beautiful person. Truly.” Zayn keeps his gaze till he’s done then gets up and walks around the table to give Harry a hug. 

Harry sniffles a bit, definitely doesn’t want to cry, but lets a few tears through anyways. “I love you, Zee. So much.”

“I love you, too, babes.” He says as he runs his fingers through Harry’s hair. Harry’s got his face pressed tightly into Zayn’s neck and his arms are tight around his waist. He wants to let Zayn go, do productive adult things, but he’s not prepared yet, has to let the emotion pass. 

When it finally does, he pulls back from Zayn and wipes his face. “I’m disgusting,” he says with a laugh. “Can’t believe you let me cry all over you.”

“I’d do it a hundred times over,” Zayn says completely serious. 

“Yeah, I know,” Harry says and scrubs his hands over his face. “Anyways, I wanna get a tattoo.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Liam says from across the table with his eyebrows raised. “You just balled all over my boyfriend and now you want a tattoo? Is this a rite of passage or something?”

“No,” Harry says with a laugh. “I was thinking about it, and Nick’s right. My scars are kinda ugly.” 

“If you ever say the words ‘Nick’s right’ in my presence again, I will slap you across the face,” Zayn says before pulling Harry into a standing position. “But, alright. Tattoos are sick and a mate of mine does really good and for a discount. Get dressed and we’ll go. I should probably drop Li off at the gym anyways, so he doesn’t go around killing people.” 

Harry laughs and walks out of the kitchen. He smiles to himself when he hears Liam’s indignant “heyyy,” and Zayn’s, “Awh, I was just kidding, baby.” He changes quickly and leaves his discarded clothes in a pile by his bed. Briefly, he contemplates setting his clothes on fire so he won’t have anything to remind him of the night before, but he figures other people might need them and makes a mental note to donate them. 

Once he’s deemed himself ready, he goes back to the kitchen and catches Liam and Zayn making out against the counter. “Guys, no!” He says and covers his eyes. He backs out of the kitchen and goes to stand by the front door, yelling, “When you guys have finished I’m ready,” over his shoulder. He’s stuck waiting for a good ten minutes and really doesn’t want to know what they’ve gotten up to when they come over to him and are still smoothing out their clothes. “You guys are disgusting. I hate you.” 

“You love me,” Zayn says with a smacking kiss to his forehead. Harry grumbles but doesn’t disagree as he walks out of the flat, Zayn and Liam following behind him. 

When they get to the tattoo shop, Zayn pulls up to the kerb and turns the ignition off before turning to Liam. “I’ll only be in there for, like, two minutes. Please try not to kill anyone.” 

“Yes, mother,” Liam says sarcastically. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“You’re a tit,” Zayn mumbles, but gives Liam a kiss nonetheless. He gets out of the car and pulls the seat forward so Harry can get out as well. “Listen, my mate’s really cool, but he’s kind of a dick.” 

Harry closes the car door and turns to Zayn with a frown on his face. “Like, Nick kind of a dick or you kind of a dick?”

“Excuse you, I’m fabulous. But, yes, like me. Maybe a little worse,” he says with a shrug. 

“Uhm, alright. Should I be concerned?” 

“Nah, babes. He won’t hurt you or anything. He just doesn’t really know when to shut up. Or have a filter. Just, come on. You’ll see.” Zayn holds the door to the shop open for Harry then follows him in, yells, “Loueh!”

“Hang on a minute!” Comes a voice from the back. Shortly after, there’s a crash followed by a few curse words, and then a man with a brilliant smile walks to the front of the store. “Hey, mate. Did you find some skin on ya that wasn’t tatted?” 

Zayn laughs a little and shakes his head. "No, actually just here to drop Harry off," he says pointing in Harry's direction. "I actually gotta take Liam to the gym so he doesn't kill anyone."

"Ah, right. Always had a temper that one." Louis turns his attention to Harry and flashes his blinding smile again. "So, what can I do for you? I'm Louis, by the way." 

Zayn claps Harry on the back and whispers, "be back soon," in his ear before walking out the door. Now it's just Harry and Louis in the room and Harry doesn't quite know what to do with himself. The whole time Louis' been in the room, Harry’s been staring, not so discretely mind you. And Louis' just, well he's simply beautiful is what he is. Harry thought he'd seen it all when he got Zayn as a best friend; a walking God, Zayn is. But Louis, Louis is something special. 

"Hey, mate?" Louis says and snaps his fingers in front of Harry's face. "You still with me? You kinda spaced out there." 

Harry clears his throat and mentally slaps himself. "Yeah, I'm good. I'm Harry by the way."

"Yeah, right. Nice to meet you. So, what can I do for you?" 

"Well, I'd like a tattoo." Which. Duh. Harry can't believe he actually just said that. Louis' staring at him like he's insane, which to be fair isn't really a stretch at this point. 

"That's good, 'cause we don't really sell muffins here. So." He shrugs his shoulders and winks at Harry. "Tattoos though, that I can do. What were you thinking of getting?"

"I'd like to get an anchor. On the inside of my wrist." Harry says and points dumbly at his wrist. 

Louis just nods and motions for Harry to follow as he walks down the hall into the back of the shop. He walks into one of the rooms and points at the chair in the center, "why don't you have a sit while I work out the design?" 

Harry nods even though he knows Louis' no longer looking at him and sits in the chair. He picks at his jeans while he waits making the hole in the knees that much larger. By the time Louis comes and sits next to him, he's pretty certain the bottom half of his pants are going to fall off from the size of the hole. 

Louis notices, of course he does, and raises an eyebrow at him. "You nervous? You seem to be competing with Zayn for how many tattoos you can fit on your body without looking trashy, but you still get nervous?" 

"It's less about the tattoos and more about the company, I guess," Harry says with a slight blush on his cheeks. Louis just kind of stares at him because, yeah that was flirting a bit, so Harry taps at the paper to get his attention. "You gonna show me the designs?" 

“Designs, right. Tattoo.” Louis mumbles to himself before straightening the paper out and showing it to Harry. 

Harry only has to look at it for about four seconds before he points to the one he wants. “I like that one. It’s pretty.”

“It’s pretty,” Louis whispers back, not really mocking. “Of course you’d get it ‘cause it’s pretty.” When Louis looks at him, though, it’s with such fondness that Harry knows he’s not being rude. “Right, so where did you want it?”

“Here,” he says pointing to the inside of his left wrist. His scars are visible, clearly, and he’s kind of embarrassed at himself, if not a bit ashamed. 

“Why’d you wanna cover it up?” Louis says as he grabs his wrist to look closely at the scars. 

Harry’s probably a bit uncomfortable, but there’s a beautiful boy basically holding his hand so he just closes his eyes and decides to tell the truth. “Well, my ex-- Not my ex, we weren’t really dating. Anyways, he said that it shows how messed up I am. And I guess, like, he’s kinda right? They’re ugly, so makes sense.” He finishes his sentence with a little shrug and when he manages to open his eyes he’s met with Louis’ blue ones staring directly into his. 

“Yeah, but, Harry it’s a part of who you are. It’s not ugly, or an illustration of how messed up you are, or whatever. It’s you. And, like, yeah, they might not be super pretty, but they’re not ugly. They’re just scars. Everyone has them, y’know? I mean, if you want to get them covered up, that’s fine, but you should do it for you. Not for some asshole who thinks he knows everything.”

Louis’ actually holding his hand now and Harry’s probably going to cry. Honestly, why is this his life? He’s pretty sure he’s cried enough, thank you very much.

“Uhm, yeah. That’s uhm-” Harry cuts himself off because he’s pretty sure he can’t form a complete sentence right now anyway. 

Louis looks at him for a long time before sighing and, unfortunately, releasing his hand. “Do you still want the tattoo?” 

Harry thinks for a bit and then nods his head. “Yeah, I do, but do you think I can change the location?” 

The answering smile Louis gives him his blinding, to say the least, and Harry’s melting on the inside. “Yeah, ‘course. Where do you want it?”

“Just on the outside of my wrist. I think it’d look sick there.” 

Louis holds the drawing over Harry’s skin for appraisal and nods in approval. “Yeah, it does look sick.”

The whole process takes about an hour and a half and they never let the silence last too long. Harry learns a lot about Louis, like he’s been living with his best mate, Niall, since right out of high school and his career as a football player fell through, so that’s why he became a tattoo artist. Harry’s pretty sure he’s overshared much more than he’d like to admit, but he can’t help it. The conversation between them is just so easy that it feels like he’s been talking to one of his best mates. 

When Louis’ finally done and Harry’s wrist is wrapped up, Louis claps his hands and walks him to the front to pay. Harry’s signing the receipt when Louis clears his throat and asks a little sheepishly, “Do you maybe wanna grab a couple drinks with me later?”

Harry’s pretty sure the noise that comes out of his mouth is neither human nor appropriate, so he tries his best to cover it up with a cough. “Yeah, that’d be great. Is it, like, a date?”

“Uhm, no,” before Harry lets himself get disappointed, Louis elaborates with, “but only because you’ve just got your heart trampled on. I’m not going to put you through something like that when you’ve not fully recovered, yeah? I mean, I still think you’re beautiful and I’d like to date you, just not yet.”

The smile on Louis’ face is so genuine and breathtaking that Harry can’t help but to smile back. “Yeah, alright,” he says just as the bell on the door chimes. They both turn to look at the door as Zayn and Liam walk in. “Gross, Li, couldn’t you shower first?” He asks as he takes in his appearance. Clearly, they just came straight from the gym. 

“Leave you here for two hours and you start acting like Louis,” Zayn says with a shake of his head. “You done?” 

Harry nods once and points at his bandaged wrist, “Yeah, I’m all good to go.” 

“Great, let’s go.”

Louis says, “See you later,” as they’re walking out, which cause Zayn to turn around and shoot both him and Harry a look. 

“What does that mean?”

“We were gonna get drinks later,” Louis explains with a shrug. He rolls his eyes at the look on Zayn’s face. “Jesus, I’m not gonna fuck him. Calm yourself. You guys can come too if you want, I guess.” 

Zayn nods, “Yeah, we will. Let’s meet at the pub Niall works at tonight.” Louis salutes them all and walks into the back of the shop. 

***  
Harry’s standing in front of his mirror for the fifth time in twenty minutes. He’s been trying to find the perfect outfit, but it seems all of his clothes are trash. His pants aren’t tight enough and his shirts are all too high. The only solution he can come up with is to raid Zayn’s closet. He goes into Zayn’s room and rifles through his closet looking for something before a pair of arms wrap around him and he’s airborne. 

“Liam, let me go!” He yells as he tries to wiggle free. 

“No, why are you in our closet?” 

“It’s Zayn’s closet. Go away.”

Liam tosses him on the bed and points at him, “You are a dick. This is just as much my closet.” 

“Yeah, fine, but I need to borrow his clothes.”

“You’re so weird,” he says and then walks out the room.

Which, good. Now Harry can rifle through things in peace. He tosses a pair of black skinny jeans on the bed along with a sheer black button up. Harry gets dressed rather quickly and then goes back to his room to put on his boots. The nice black ones, mind you; he’s not going to get caught in his raggedy brown ones around Louis. Not yet anyways. 

He’s just about finished with his hair when he hears Zayn’s voice next to him. “Why are you wearing my clothes?” Zayn says loud enough to startle him. 

“Don’t you knock? And because I have to look perfect. Louis’ going to be there and he’s really pretty so I have to look nice.”

“Did you really just ask me to knock when you’ve gone through all my clothes without asking? You’re ridiculous.”

“Liam knew, so it wasn’t really without you knowing. Technically.” Harry does that last finishing touches on his hair and then turns to Zayn. “How do I look?”

“Fine,” When Harry frowns at him he rolls his eyes and continues. “Oh my god. You look amazing. So hot. Ten out of ten. Take me now.”

“Thank you, that’s what I was going for.” 

“You’re an idiot. We’re gonna be in the car so get your cute little bum into gear and meet us downstairs.” 

“Yes, mum,” Harry says and bats his eyelashes.

 

 

They walk into the pub a little after 7 and manage to find a booth in the back corner away from most of the hustle going on around them. Somehow they all squeeze into one side of the booth, probably because Zayn’s practically sitting in Liam’s lap. No more than a few minutes pass before a blond Irishman is standing in front of them holding four beers. 

“Hey, Niall, how you doing?” Zayn asks as he leans around Harry. 

“Good, good. Can’t complain. Pints?” He replies with a wide grin on his face. Niall slides Zayn and Liam a beer before sliding into the seat across from them and taking a sip of his beer. 

“Uh, why do we only have four beers when there’s five of us?” Harry asks and stares at the table in front of him. The lack of a drink makes him frown a little, but it doesn’t last long. 

“Oh, you can count? Look at you having all kinds of good qualities,” Louis says as he slides in next to Niall. He passes a pink drink over to Harry and winks. “I figured this was more your speed. Didn’t seem like the beer type to me.” 

Harry’s got a faint blush on his cheeks as he smiles down at his drink. “Thanks. I don’t actually like beer. This is good.” He takes a sip to make his point and makes an appreciative noise when the taste of berries fills his mouth. “Yeah, s’really good.” 

Louis nods, pleased with himself, and smiles a little at Harry. “Good, better enjoy that. Cost me a fortune.” 

Harry takes another sip and darts his tongue out to catch the drop of liquid still attached to his lip. He watches Louis’ eyes follow the movement and internally cheers because, yes, Louis thinks he’s attractive, too. “Sorry ‘bout that, mate. I guess that means I have to get your next beer, then.”

“There’s a good lad,” Louis says and clinks his glass against Harry’s. “Cheers.” He brings his glass to his lips and takes a sip of his beer, all the while he keeps his eyes locked on Harry’s over the rim of his glass. 

They’re stuck in their own little world, just staring at each other, until Niall slaps Louis on the back making him sputter into his beer. It startles a laugh out of Harry and he slaps his hand over his mouth to try to stifle the sound. The look on Louis’ face is somewhere between fond and irate and Harry would be worried, but Louis just looks like an angry hedgehog which is more endearing than anything else. 

“Niall, why are you trying to kill me?” Louis says and shoots a glare in Niall’s direction.

Niall holds his hand up in surrender, smile never leaving his face. “I was trying to get your attention. Zayn’s been asking you a question for, like, 20 minutes.” 

“We haven’t even been here that long, you dolt.” 

“I’m probably exaggerating a bit, but it’s at least felt that long because I’m stuck with you four. You guys are gross, being all mushy.” He says and purses his lips. “I wouldn’t have come if I knew I was gonna be fifth wheelin’ it.” 

Someone, presumably Liam, kicks Niall under the table which promptly shuts him up. “We’re not dating,” Louis is quick to say. 

Niall stares at all the boys before sighing and climbing over Louis to exit the booth. “You’re such a shit liar, mate. I’m going back to work.”

Louis spreads out in the booth, definitely pleased, and starts up a conversation with Zayn and Liam. Harry’s suddenly decided his drink is very interesting and keeps his gaze focused on that. He gets lost in his own thoughts and doesn’t engage in what’s going on around him until Zayn starts pushing at his shoulder trying to get him up. “What?” He asks and looks at Zayn.

“We’re leaving, yeah? You ready to go?” 

Harry looks around and notices that, yeah, they’ve all finished their drinks, including himself, which. Weird. He doesn’t remember doing that. He just shrugs and gets out of the booth, stands to the side and waits till their all out. Liam and Zayn say their goodbyes to Louis and then run off to the bar in search of Niall, leaving Harry and Louis alone. 

“So, that was fun,” Louis says as he looks up at Harry from under his fringe. “I think we should hang out again. Like, properly this time.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Harry says and nods dumbly. “Uh, do you think I could, like, get your number?” 

Louis smiles at the nervousness in Harry’s voice and pulls his phone out, hands it to Harry. “Alright, but only if I can have yours, too.” 

Harry types in his number and calls himself so he knows he’ll have Louis’ number. Louis doesn’t really seem like the type of person that won’t call, but he has to make sure he has his number just in case. He hands Louis his phone back and stands there awkwardly, not really sure if they’re allowed to hug or not. The decision is made for him when Louis rocks up onto his tippy toes and puts his arms around Harry’s neck, squeezes him tight. “Bye, Harry. I’ll see you later.” He drops a kiss to Harry’s shoulder and then lets him go and walks over to where Niall’s passing out beers at the bar. 

***

Harry shouldn’t have worried about whether or not Louis would text him. Before they had even made it home that night Louis had sent him a text message talking about how awful Niall is at chatting up girls. It was stupid and not really something Harry cared about, but it made him happy nonetheless. Since then, they’ve spent all their free time either texting or talking on the phone. Harry even got up the courage to ask Louis over for Sunday dinner the week after they met for drinks; he was pretty pleased with himself to say the least. 

It was a great dinner, all things considered. Louis had brought over Niall and they all sat around the small kitchen table for a nice, home cooked meal. Niall had ended up leaving right after dinner because he had to work, but Louis stayed well into the night watching movies and sharing stories with Harry. 

After that, it pretty much became a weekly thing. Harry knew that Louis missed his mum’s cooking, so he tried to do whatever he could to make Louis feel less homesick. Sometime between the occasional get togethers and nights out, Louis started coming over to the flat nearly everyday and would occasionally stay the night. When he did stay the night, he would bring more clothes than necessary and create a mess out of Harry’s room. Harry would be bothered, but when they’d go to bed Louis always made a point to cuddle around Harry. 

Harry’s room started to feel more like both of theirs, which made it harder for Harry when he did end up sleeping alone. He found that he really didn’t like it, but it’s not like he could make Louis stay the night. A few times they tried to go to Louis’ and Niall’s flat, but it was so messy and Louis preferred being around Zayn and Liam. 

It’s the morning of one of the days Louis has to work late so Harry’s tidying up his room to get it ready for when Louis comes over after. He’s folding some of Louis’ clothes and putting them in the drawer he designated for him when his phone rings. He lets it go, not bothered to answer because everyone he usually talks to is either at work or in the flat. When he hears the ding for a voicemail, though, he huffs and puts the clothes in his hands down. 

Harry grabs his phone of the bedside table and listens to the voicemail. “Hey, darling,” he hears the recording start. His heartbeat has already picked up and he feels a bit nauseous. Letting the message play out probably isn’t in his best interest, but he does anyway. “Listen, Jess and I split and I thought you should come over. Need a warm body right now, y’know?” Nick's voice says and then he finishes his message with a “call me.” Harry deletes it right away and stares at his phone for a minute not really sure how to react. 

“Zayn!” He calls towards the door. 

Zayn opens the door a few seconds later. “Yeah?” He says and then takes in the look on Harry’s face. “Babes, what’s happened? Are you okay?”

“It’s just, that was Nick,” Harry whispers as he turns towards Zayn. “He said him and Jess broke up. Only called ‘because he wanted a warm body.” The look on Harry’s face is distraught, but Zayn can see the little glimpses of hopeful peeking through. 

“Alright, and what are you gonna do?”

Harry shrugs and looks back down at his phone. “I don’t know. Maybe call him back? He could be upset that they broke up.” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “No, I shouldn’t. He just wanted sex, I know that. But maybe- never mind.” 

Zayn approaches Harry much like he would a wild animal and runs his hand up and down Harry’s back. “You’re right, Harry. He just wants to use you. He’s upset right now and you’re the only that hasn’t said no before. You can do it, though. Just be strong, yeah?”

“Yeah, maybe,” he says and hands Zayn his phone. “You should take this. I don’t want to be stupid and call. I think I’m just gonna sleep.”

“You’re not stupid, babes. Maybe some sleep will do you good. I’ll come get you for lunch, okay?” Zayn pockets Harry’s phone and walks him over to the bed. He waits till Harry’s stripped to his briefs and is comfortable in bed before he pulls the blankets up around his shoulders and tucks him in. “You’ll get through it. I’ll be here all day if you need anything.” At Harry’s nod, Zayn kisses him on the forehead whispers an, “I love you,” and walks out the room, shutting it softly behind him. 

Harry’s woken up a few times by Zayn, and once by Liam, throughout the day, but he just can’t find it in him to get up. He thought for certain he was over this, but he still feels as weak as he did the last time. The only solace he can find is in the fact that he was able to give up his phone and not go back to Nick. It doesn’t feel like much, though. 

It’s not even about Nick anymore, he thinks. What’s really getting to him now is that he’s not good enough for anything more than a one-night stand. And, like, he knows he has good qualities, but they’re not really important. They don’t matter enough. His good qualities aren’t enough to outweigh the bad. Maybe Nick was right and he’ll always be fucked up, always be broken. 

He makes a noise that’s somewhere between a growl and a groan of frustration and rolls over onto his stomach. He pulls the blankets above his head and lets the emotion take over, lets the tears fall passed his closed eyes and onto his pillow. It’s really stupid, he thinks, to be upset over something that seems so small in the grand scheme of things. He could still have a great life, have a job and make money. But it’s not the same. There’s nothing he wants more than to spend his life with someone and the reminder that, no, he’s not good enough hits him like a ton of bricks. 

***

Harry’s woken up by someone tracing his nose and eyebrows with their finger. He grumbles in his half-asleep state, but keeps his eyes shut. When the offender starts outlining his lips he decides to fight back. He waits until the person has their finger on the crease between his lips before opening his mouth and biting down. 

“Oi, you fucking wanker, let me go.” Harry laughs so hard he shakes the whole bed and, regretfully, ends up releasing the finger. “I can’t believe you bit me! Cannibal!” 

Harry tries to stop laughing, but bursts into another fit of giggles when he opens his eyes and sees the look of total shock on Louis’ face. He turns to his side and suppresses his giggles in Louis’ thigh, pets at his chest as a form of apology. “I’m sorry,” he manages between laughs. “I thought you were Zayn.” 

“So, you bite Zayn on a regular basis, then?” Louis asks, one perfect eyebrow arched.

“I never said I wasn’t a biter,” Harry says smartly and then buries his face in Louis’ leg, suddenly embarrassed at himself. 

Louis just giggles and plays with Harry’s hair. Once the silence has stretched too long for Louis’ liking he tugs a bit at Harry’s hair. “You wanna tell me what happened this morning? Zayn’s been calling me all day asking me to fix it.” 

Harry shakes his head against Louis’ thigh and then turns his face enough to look up at him. “No, I don’t wanna, but I will.”

Louis flashes a brilliant smile at him and then moves so he’s sitting criss-cross. “Up you get,” he orders as he grabs at Harry’s head and directs him until he’s lying on his back with his head in Louis’ lap. “Alright, love, tell me what’s happened,” Louis says gently as he starts playing with Harry’s hair again. 

“Nick called me this morning,” Harry begins and picks at his nails. “I don’t feel anything for him romantically anymore, y’know? It’s not that, it’s just. I don’t know. How it all makes me feel. He always makes sure to remind me that I’m no better than a one night stand. I’ll never be good enough to have someone love me properly. I’m too broken.” He attempts a shrug, but his shoulders just kind of knock into Louis’ legs so he relaxes again and closes his eyes. 

“Why do you think that, babe? ‘S not true.” 

“I don’t know. Is it, though? My track record would say it is true. I’ve never had a decent relationship. Before Nick I was with this guy, Ben, who couldn’t admit to anyone, not even himself, that he was gay. He tried to keep me as his secret. But I didn’t want that, thought I was too good for it. Maybe I was wrong.”

Louis tugs on Harry’s hair hard enough to make him wince. “No, don’t you say that. You weren’t wrong, Harry. You are better than just being someone’s secret. Besides that, all that’s important here is your happiness, and if you weren’t happy then that’s enough to get out of it.”

“Yeah, I guess. It just seems like something would’ve gone right if I was good enough. If I was actually worth something.” Harry makes sure to mumble the last bit in the hopes that Louis won’t hear. Except of course he does. 

“Oh, Harold. There’s not a thing wrong with you. Not one.” Louis sighs but starts playing with Harry’s hair again and is much more gentle this time. “You shouldn't base your opinion of yourself on what other people think. You’re the most important in your life and you have to remember that. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, or how anyone else treats you. At the end of the day, it’s just you and yourself and if you don’t love yourself and treat yourself right, you’re not ever going to be happy. Whether you're in love or not. Sure, it helps to have people who do love you, but you do have those people, Harry. So many people love you. Now all you gotta do is work on loving yourself." 

Harry’s very displeased at how right Louis is. It’s not really about how the people in his life have treated him. It’s that he’s let himself think so poorly about himself; that he’s let other people’s opinion influence his own thoughts. Harry drags his hands over his face and sighs heavily. “Why are you so smart? I don’t like that.”

“Yes, you do,” Louis sing-songs. Harry’s pretty sure that he’s braiding hair but he’s also pretty sure that he doesn’t care. It’s actually quite comforting. “Just for the record, I think you’re amazing and you should remember that you truly are amazing. Besides,” he says with a shrug, “everyone has something about them. No one’s perfect.”

“I don’t believe it. You’ve met Zayn right?”

“Zayn doesn’t count. He’s an alien, clearly.” 

They both laugh at that and then Harry nudges at Louis' knee. “Seriously, though, I think you’re pretty perfect. What’s your something?”

“Mmm, I was hoping you wouldn’t ever find out that I am, in fact, not perfect. But since you’ve asked almost nicely.” He sighs heavily likes he’s being put-upon, but continues, “Once upon time, way back when I was a young little lad- Not really, I was probably 18. Anyway, the point. I used to be a right slag.” 

Harry giggles and blinks his eyes open to look at Louis. “Really? You were a slag?”

Louis sticks his tongue out at Harry and tugs gently on his hair. “Is it so hard to believe? I’m beautiful, it’s totally possible.”

“That’s true,” Harry says as he scans his eyes over Louis’ face. He licks his lips and then closes his eyes once again before asking, “Why?”

“Well, this is kinda silly so just. Bear with me.” Harry nods against Louis’ leg so he clears his throat and starts, “I didn’t really have the best home life growing up, I guess? It wasn’t awful, just not really very good. Two of my supposed to be father figures abandoned us randomly and I didn’t really want that happening again. So, in order to not be left by another guy, I left them.” 

“Lou, I’m really sorry that you felt that way,” Harry says as sincerely as he can. He’s got his eyes open now and is staring directly at Louis, can see the tears starting to form in Louis’ eyes.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ve always just been scared it would happen, so I never wanted to, like, allow the possibility.” 

Harry reaches up with one of his hands and runs his knuckles over Louis’ cheekbone. “I’m not gonna leave you, Lou. Just in case you were wondering.”

Louis smiles as a tear runs down his cheek, Harry quickly wiping it away. He circles his fingers around Harry’s wrist and holds onto him tight. “I know, Harry. I’m not scared with you.” 

They both move towards each other, Harry picking his head up and Louis leaning down. Their lips brush against each other briefly before the door opens and Liam yells, “Why did you let Zayn cook dinner?” They both spring apart like they’ve been burned and then look to the doorway where Liam’s standing. “He’s going to kill us all. If he doesn’t burn down the flat we’ll probably get food poisoning.” 

Harry rolls his eyes at Liam’s overreacting and looks up at Louis. He’s got a blush high on his cheeks and he’s making sure to look anywhere but Harry. “I’ll fix it,” Harry says before squeezing Louis’ thigh and getting out of bed. 

***

Dinner is awkward to say the least. Louis and Harry put a lot of effort into not talking or looking at each other, even though their chairs are squished together because of the tight space in the kitchen. Zayn shoots Harry a couple questioning glances, but gets nothing more than a frown or a shake of the head. As soon as they're done eating, Harry leaves the clean up to the rest of the lads and retreats to the shower hoping that it'll calm his nerves. 

He's just finished conditioning his hair when the door opens and Louis steps inside closing the door behind him. "Listen," he starts before looking up and seeing Harry. "Oh my god! You're naked!" He says and covers his eyes. 

"Obviously! I'm in the shower!" Harry points out as he covers his bits. "That’s usually what happens when you clean yourself."

"Yeah, I know, but normal people have shower curtains or something. Where is your shower curtain anyway?" Louis says as he peeks through the gaps in his fingers. 

"There was an incident. It no longer is usable."

"What kind of an incident?" Louis asks and drops his hands, but squeaks and covers his eyes again because, yes, Harry is still very much naked. 

"I'm clumsy, okay? I don't want to talk about." 

Louis giggles at that because of course Harry would have an incident with the shower curtain. He clears his throat and fumbles with the doorknob behind him while he says, "right, well. This clearly isn't the time to talk. I'm just gonna go." He's halfway out the door when he stops and looks back at Harry. "You look good by the way. Okay, bye!" And then he shuts the door and leaves a very flustered but very flattered Harry watching after him. 

***

Louis bursts into Zayn's room and then flops down on the bed next to him. "I just walked in on Harry in the shower," he says. "It was beautiful." 

"I don't really want to know. Please leave," Zayn mumbles behind his book. 

"I have a problem, Zayn."

"Do you want a cookie?"

"No, rude. I need your help. It's about Harry."

"If you fuck him and leave him I will personally cut your balls off." Zayn says as he closes his book. "What's the problem?" 

"You're an arse. I don't want to do that. I really like him, but I don't think he likes me."

Zayn fixes him with a look and then flicks him on the ear. "You're an idiot, Louis. That boy’s so in love with you it makes me and Liam sick." 

Louis tries to glare at him, but it doesn't work because that's got to be the best news he's ever heard. "Then why doesn't he do anything? Like, we almost kissed and I was pretty sure we were dating but now it's just. Awkward. I think he likes me one minute but the next I can't tell. What do I do, Zee?" 

"You gotta be honest with him, Lou. He doesn't get it. He doesn't think you're actually interested in him. Yeah, you guys are basically dating, but you have to spell it out for him. He's a little, uhm, fragile and not really the best at reading signals." 

"Why is this so hard?" Louis whines as he rolls over and buries his face in the pillow. 

Zayn pats him on the head. "You're being a baby. It's not hard. Just be blunt. Ask him out or confess your love. I don't know, just please get out of my bed. I have things to do."

"Yeah, yeah," Louis says and picks himself up out of bed. "I'm gonna come up with a plan and it'll be brilliant. Just you watch." 

***

Harry walks into Zayn's room to find him painting at his easel. "Hey mate. Where's Lou?"

"He left," Zayn says softly as he focuses on mixing the colors properly. 

"Wait, what?" This is not good, Harry thinks. Of course he drove Louis off. "Did he say why?" 

Zayn shrugs, "Had something to do, I guess." 

"Uhm, okay. That's, uhm," Harry clears his throat a few times but the sudden tears forming in his eyes won't seem to go away. "I messed up, didn't I?" 

Zayn sighs and puts his paints down then walks across the room and engulfs Harry in a hug. "No, babes. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why'd he leave? I mean, I know we almost kissed, and I guess he just kinda walked in on me in the shower, but, like, it wasn't on purpose. I didn't mean to scare him off. Fuck, I knew I was getting my hopes up thinking he liked me."

"Harry, don't be daft. That boy wants you just as much as you want him." He shushes Harry a few times and pets at his hair. "You guys just really need to talk about it, okay? It's not my place to say anything." 

Harry nods against his shoulder and sniffles quietly. "Yeah, okay. You sure he doesn't hate me? Or just, like, wants to fuck me and leave me? I know that's all I've been good for."

Zayn sighs and tightens his grip around Harry. "No, he doesn't hate you and he doesn't want to do that to you. Maybe we should go to bed and y'all can talk about it tomorrow. We're supposed to go to that new club tomorrow night, remember? You guys can talk then. I'll even let you borrow my clothes again." 

Harry nods again and smiles, wipes at his face. "Yeah, okay. That sounds good." 

***

Liam, Zayn, and Harry all arrive at the club earlier than necessary. Liam had been so concerned about being late that instead they’re at least half hour early. Harry’s a little displeased because the main reason he came was for Louis and now he just has to wait. He takes a seat at the bar and orders something fruity while Zayn and Liam make their way to the dance floor. He’s finished most of his drink and ran out of things to do on his phone when an arm reaches around him and places a drink on the counter in front of him. 

Harry turns around to say “no, thank you,” but stops short when he sees Louis standing behind him. He mumbles a bashful, “thanks,” and looks Louis up and down. He’s so beautiful it’s ridiculous. Louis’ wearing white skinny jeans and a blue button-up that makes his eyes stand out more than usual. He’s got his hair styled up into a quiff and he’s smiling brilliantly and Harry. Harry doesn’t quite know what to do with himself so he takes a sip of his drink and hums appreciatively. 

Louis pulls at the top of Harry’s shirt and gives him a once over. “You look nice. Not really sure why you bothered buttoning any of it, though.”

Harry looks down at himself and, yeah, he’s only done up 2 of the buttons. “Well, it is sheer so it doesn’t really matter, does it? Where’s Niall?”

“No, guess it doesn’t. I don’t know, probably dancing with someone,” Louis says and downs the drink in his hand. “I think we should dance.” 

"Uhm, okay. I'm not very good, though," Harry says and finishes off his drink as well. 

"That's okay, I'll teach you." Louis takes him by the hand and leads him to the middle of the dance floor. They start off dancing face to face, but it doesn't last long because Harry’s feeling brave after his two drinks. He turns so his back is to Louis and waits until Louis' arms are wrapped him before he starts dancing again. 

Louis’ got his arms wrapped around Harry’s waist with his hands on the top of his thighs. Harry covers Louis’ hands with his own and starts to move his hips to the beat. A few songs later, Louis pulls Harry against him and grinds a bit, causing Harry to make an aborted noise and grind back into him. 

Louis kisses at Harry’s neck and just as Harry’s about to turn around and connect their lips, he’s pulled away from Louis by his elbow. He pulls his elbow out of the grip and looks up to say something, but freezes when he sees it’s Nick. 

“Hey, darling. Thought you could come dance with me like that,” He says and pulls at Harry’s shirt. 

“No, I think I’m good.” Harry goes to walk away but Nick catches his arm and pulls him into his body. 

“I think you should come home with me, yeah? Know you’ve always loved it,” Nick whispers into his ear. 

Harry squirms in his grip and huffs in frustration when he can’t get away. He’s saved, though, when none other than Louis comes up and pulls him out of Nick’s grip. “Oi, he said no. Are you deaf?”

“Oh, you’re cute, too. Maybe you’d like to come home with me instead.” 

“Gross, no. I think you should leave us alone. I don’t want you and Harry definitely doesn’t want you.” 

“No, I think pretty Harry would like to come home with me. Wouldn’t be the first time. Who do you think you are, anyway, coming to the rescue, even though it’s not needed.”

“I’m his boyf- I’m his best mate, Louis,” Louis says and raises an eyebrow. “And you need to leave.” 

“Nice to meet you Louis, I’m Nick. And we’ll be going now.” Nick grabs Harry’s arm again and pulls him along as he starts to talk away. 

“Oh! You’re Nick?” Louis asks. As soon as Nick turns to answer, Louis brings his arm back and connects his fist with Nick’s nose. Nick grabs his nose and falls to the ground, letting go of Harry in the process. Louis pulls Harry behind him and shakes out his hand. “Fuck, his face is hard.” 

“You fucker! You broke my nose!” Nick cries from the floor. 

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure I broke my knuckle. Stop whining.” 

“I’m gonna call the cops and get you arrested for assault.” 

“Oh, I’m so scared,” Louis says sarcastically. "Get me for assault and I'll get you for harassment. Probably don't want cops in your business so keep them out of mine. Come on, love. Let's go home," he says to Harry and grabs him by the hand and walks out the club. 

***

Harry grabs Louis an ice pack when they get back to the flat and holds it against his hand. With his other hand he sends Zayn a quick text telling him they’re at the flat. “You didn’t have to punch him.” 

“I know. He deserved, though. No one should be mean to you,” Louis says petulantly. 

“Thank you. For getting me away from him and, like, not letting him take me home.” 

“Of course, Harry. I wasn’t gonna let him take you anywhere. Makes me mad that he wouldn’t listen to you, though. What an arse.” 

Harry pushes the ice harder against Louis’ hand and apologizes when Louis hisses from the pain. “Would you say,” he starts before dissolving into a fit of giggles. “That you got there in the nick of time.” 

Louis glares at him and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh my god. That was awful. I’m in love with an idiot.” 

Harry’s giggles abruptly stop and he drops the ice pack. “I’m sorry what?”

“I called you an idiot,” he says slowly. 

“No, before that.”

“Yes, Harry, your jokes are awful.” 

“No, you tit. The other thing.” Harry pinches Louis’ side for good measure. “Say it again.”

“Oh, that part.” Louis looks at Harry sheepishly and then sighs heavily. “I said I’m in love with you.”

“Did you mean it?” 

 

“Of course I meant it. I don’t just go around saying things-” Harry promptly cuts him off with a kiss and mumbles, “I’m in love with you, too,” against his lips. 

Louis smiles into the kiss and pulls back enough to whisper in the space between them. “Yeah? You love me?” His eyes are shining when Harry meets them and he thinks, fleetingly, that Louis is as radiant as the sun. 

“Yeah, really. I love you.” He beams down at Louis when he says it back and reconnects their lips. The kiss is slow and loving, their lips just moving softly against each other. It’s not until Louis swipes his tongue along Harry’s bottom lip that he realizes how much he wants, how much he’s wanted Louis since the first time he saw him. 

Harry pushes against Louis harder and circles one of his arms around his waist, brings his other hand up to cup Louis’ face. He sucks Louis’ tongue into his mouth and massages it with his own before giving dominance up to Louis. Louis takes the lead, gladly, and explores Harry’s mouth with his tongue; the back of his teeth, the roof of his mouth, anything he can get to. Harry moans into his mouth and grinds their hips together subtly. His cocks already fattening up in his trousers and he can feel that Louis’ getting there, too. 

He pulls back for breath and mumbles, “Bed, please, bed,” as Louis attaches his mouth to Harry’s neck. Louis nods against his neck and leaves a final nip, then grabs Harry’s hand and leads him into the bedroom. He wastes no time in unbuttoning Harry’s shirt, slides his hands up Harry’s torso once he’s finished and pushes his shirt down his shoulders. 

“Beautiful,” Louis murmurs as he appraises Harry’s body. “Trousers, too.” It’s not a command, not really, but Harry responds as if it were one. He makes quick work of removing his boots and socks, then peels his trousers from his legs, taking his pants with them. There’s something kind of erotic, Harry thinks, about him being naked while Louis’ still fully clothed. 

Harry clasps his hands behind his back while Louis stares shamelessly. He’s never been modest and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t irrationally turned on by the way Louis rakes his eyes over his body. “Wanna open yourself?” Louis asks, voice low and husky. 

Harry nods and grabs the lube and a condom from the nightstand before laying in the middle of the bed, legs splayed open. He slicks up three of his fingers and brings them down to circle around his rim before slowly pushing one in. He wiggles it around a bit and then adds another, feeling the burn of the stretch. It’s not unpleasant, though, he likes the sting. 

Louis walks to the foot of the bed and watches with hungry eyes as Harry’s fingers disappear inside himself. He undoes the flies on his trousers and kicks his shoes off, then his trousers. He’s gotten his shirt half-way unbuttoned when Harry decides to add another finger. The moan that escapes Harry’s mouth makes Louis pause, gripping the ends of his shirt like a vice. 

He lets his eyes trail up Harry’s body, taking in the thin layer of sweat on his torso and the bulge of his biceps as we works himself open, until he reaches his face. Beautiful, he is. Harry’s curls are already starting to stick his head and his cheeks are rosy, a lovely offset to his creamy skin. He opens his eyes, must feel Louis’ gaze, and whines high in the back of his throat. “Please, Lou, ‘m ready. Please.” He squeezes his eyes shut and keeps chanting please like it’s the only word he knows, so Louis makes quick work of the rest of his clothes. 

Louis climbs on the bed and fits himself between Harry’s spread legs, grabs his wrist and slowly removes Harry’s fingers from himself. He watches as Harry’s hole clenches around nothing, bites his lip at just how desperate Harry already is; they’ve not even started properly yet and he’s already a right mess. Louis is so lucky, he thinks. 

Harry brings him back to the moment by prodding at his thigh with his toes. He’s got his arm over his eyes now, his whines muffled behind it. Louis soothes his hands up his thighs and knees walks till he’s flush against him and hovering over his face. He grabs Harry’s arm away from his face and entwines their fingers before putting their arms above Harry’s head. With his free hand, he thumbs at Harry’s cheekbone, “It’s alright, baby, I got you. Promise,” Louis says sweetly. 

They meet each other for a tender kiss, too slow and sweet for where this about to go, but exactly right for the way their feeling. He pulls back with one last peck to Harry’s lips and grabs the condom and lube from where Harry had discarded it. Louis rolls the condom on and then slicks himself up, laughs at himself for how surprisingly difficult it is for him to do it one handed. He squeezes Harry’s hand tighter as he positions himself at his entrance. “You ready, baby?” He asks a bit breathless. 

The half nod and whine of his name Harry gives is all the go ahead he needs before he slowly starts to push in. He feels like all his air has been punched out of him when he’s fully inside Harry. The adjustment period is just as much for him as it is for Harry; he has to squeeze his eyes shut and focus on the dull pain coming from how hard Harry’s gripping his hand in order to not come right then. Louis grips Harry’s other hand and moves it up so they’re both resting above Harry’s head. They’re aligned from head to toe, not a breath of space between them, and when Louis opens his eyes he can see a blur of green staring back at him. 

“You okay, baby?” Louis asks and takes his hand away to brush Harry’s curls out of his face. “How do you feel?”

Harry’s eyes are glassy and unfocused as he murmurs out, “Yeah, good. Just move, please.” He wiggles his hips a bit against Louis’ to get the point across. 

Louis giggles and buries his head in Harry’s neck, kisses at the skin there. He rests his weight on his forearm, the other still in Harry’s grip, and draws out slowly, feeling Harry all around him. When he’s nearly all the way out, Harry clenches around him causing him to moan as his hips stutter forward. He stays with long and slow thrusts until Harry starts wiggling beneath him.

“Fuck me proper, Lou. Please.” Harry all but whines as he locks his ankles behind Louis’ back. He pushes at Louis’ lower back and tries to fuck himself on Louis’ cock. Which, it’s kinda hot, but Louis doesn’t want to make him work for it. Not tonight, anyways. 

“Okay, baby,” Louis whispers into his neck. He nips at the vein and the pulls his head up to look down at his boy. “I love you.” 

It’s beautiful watching the way Harry’s cheeks tint a brighter shade of pink at his words. He mumbles out an, “And I love you,” and then picks his head up just enough to nip at Louis’ lips. 

Louis licks his way into Harry’s mouth as he starts moving his hips again, this time faster and harder, just like his boy asked. The kiss is dirty, desperate, their tongues sliding against one another hotly. Harry’s legs tighten around him when they start to slide from the layer of sweat that’s slowly building on their bodies. It causes Louis to readjust a bit, knee his way up the bed more. 

Now his thrusts are deeper and shallower, trying to keep him as connected to his boy as possible. He tries different angles with his hips until Harry cries out beneath him. There’s a smirk on his lips as he keeps that angle, drives in faster and harder. Louis brings his hand up to wall to give himself more balance, more leverage, as he tries to hit that spot every time; he’s mostly successful. 

Harry keeps making these little whines and moans into his mouth, breathing harshly against his lips while he tries to kiss back. It’s beautiful, really. He’s beautiful. Louis tells him as much, which earns him another moan and a bite to his bottom lip. Louis licks along Harry’s lips, nips at them, and swallows some of the noises that escape.

“I’m close, baby. Want you to come first, yeah? Can you?” Louis mumbles into his mouth. 

Harry whines high in his throat and nods frantically, tries to move his from Louis’ grip, “Please, please touch me,” he says breathlessly.

“Yeah, okay. Keep your hands up here, okay?” When Harry hums his agreeance, Louis releases Harry’s hand and snakes his between their bodies. He thumbs at the tip of Harry’s cock, spreads the precome around a bit, before grabbing ahold of him properly and stroking him in time with his thrusts. It only takes a few moments before Harry’s fucking up into his hand and then back down on his cock. He’s got one of his hands fisted in his hair, pulling slightly every time he fucks back onto Louis. 

“Fuck, Lou,” Harry says on a broken moan. “I think, I’m gonna, I-” He squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back, Louis’ name on his lips as he comes between their bodies. Louis thrusts into him a few more times before he comes as well, Harry clenching around his cock becoming too much. He bites down on Harry’s shoulder to silence the moan that threatens to leave him. 

They stare there until their breaths have evened out and Harry starts wiggling from being uncomfortable. Louis kisses Harry’s shoulder then pulls out slowly and ties off the condom, throws it off the bed somewhere. “That is disgusting. You will be cleaning that up,” Harry mumbles as he stares at Louis with half lidded eyes. 

Louis raises an eyebrow at him and flops down on the bed next to him. “We’ll see who’s cleaning it up, won’t we?” 

Harry hits him in the chest softly and pouts. “You’re a tit,” he says before quietly adding, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Louis says with a silly grin. He pecks Harry on the lips and then frowns at the feeling of Harry’s cum drying on his stomach. “I think we need to clean up.” 

“Hang on.” Harry reaches over Louis and grabs a pack of wet wipes from the bedside table. When Louis looks at him questioningly he shrugs his shoulder, “I don’t like being messy, okay, Lewis?” 

Louis pushes at his shoulder and grabs the wet wipes from him, taking one out cleaning his belly, then Harry’s stomach and bum. “Okay, Harold,” he says as throws the wipes over the side of the bed as well. 

“You’re so gross.” 

“Shut up. You love me.” 

“I do,” Harry practically beams at him. 

“Yeah, alright. I love you, too. Now, sleep.” Louis kisses Harry on the cheek then the lips, and turns him so he’s on his side. He molds himself to Harry’s back and wraps his arms around him. He kisses between Harry’s shoulder blades before resting his head there and letting the sound of Harry’s even breaths put him to sleep. 

***

Louis wakes up, to his surprise, before Harry does. He still has his arms wrapped around his boy and it takes his brain a few minutes to finally catch up with him. His boy, he thinks. He can’t believe he got this lucky, honestly. He leaves kisses all along Harry’s back and neck, smiles when Harry starts to snuffle like he does before he wakes up. “Morning, love,” He whispers into his ear. 

Harry stretches his arms above his head and then drops them down to rest at his sides as he rolls onto his stomach. “Morning. I can’t believe this is real,” Harry says happily between yawns. 

Louis straddles his lower back and leaves butterfly kisses along his spine, then hums in agreement. He shuffles down the bed trailing kisses down Harry’s back as he goes. When he gets to be between Harry’s legs, he nudges them apart a bit more and bites down on his pert bum.

“I love you. Truly, I do,” Louis whispers like it’s a secret. Harry looks down at Louis and beams, says it back before watching Louis with heavy eyes. Louis palms at Harry’s bum, squeezes a bit, then spreads his cheeks and licks a broad stripe over his hole. The response he gets is instantaneous and amazing. Harry drops his head down on the pillow and whimpers while he pushes his bum back against Louis’ mouth. 

Louis points his tongue and circles it around Harry’s hole, sucks at the rim, then delves inside, moaning at the taste of Harry. He licks around Harry’s walls, pulling back every so often to suck at the rim again. It doesn’t take long before Harry is a mess below him, whining into the pillow, rutting his hips into the sheets and then grinding back against Louis’ face. Louis pushes in one of his fingers alongside his tongue and wiggles it around, crooks it till he finds what he’s looking for. 

Harry lets out a broken sob when Louis finds his prostate and pushes back against his face harder, faster. Louis keeps his finger on the nub and massages at it while sucks and licks around his finger. It doesn’t take long before Harry’s pushing his hips hard against the mattress and going still as he comes with a moan of Louis’ name. 

Louis works him through it and then pulls back with a kiss to Harry’s hole. He gently nudges Harry onto his back and then straddles his stomach. Harry’s got tears slipping from his eyes and a flush on his cheeks, eyes glassy. Louis thumbs the tears away and then leans down to kiss his eyelids, cheeks, lips. Harry sighs contentedly into his mouth and grabs at Louis’ thighs. “Want me to do you?” Harry asks, his voice still shaky. 

“Nah, I’ll just, y’know. Meself,” Louis mumbles and motions what he thinks expresses ‘wanking off.’ 

Harry giggles and tightens his grip on Louis’ thighs. “Alright, but stay here, yeah? Wanna watch.” Which. Louis is definitely flustered now, but also very turned on. He licks his hand and strokes himself while he just watches Harry watch him. Harry’s digging his nails into his thighs now and keeps looking from his cock to his face like he can’t decide which is more beautiful. 

“You look amazing,” Harry breathes. “So fit, so fucking beautiful.” He runs both of his hands up Louis’ torso and then scratches his way back down, catching both of his nipples as he goes. Louis hisses through his teeth and lets his eyes flutter closed. “Look at me, love. Want you to look at me when you come.” Louis’ eyes shoot open at them and he keeps his eyes locked on Harry best he can as he picks up the pace. Harry looks at him coyly before licking his lips and, “want you to come on my face. Want you to make me yours.”

“Jesus. Shit,” Louis manages to get out before nodding and kneeing his way up Harry’s torso till he’s straddling his chest. Harry palms at Louis’ arse, squeezes a bit, humming in appreciation. 

“Come on, Lou. Come for me,” Harry says huskily before he opens his mouth and sticks out his fucking tongue. And, well, there wasn’t really any hope for Louis was there? He comes a few strokes after that, eyes still locked on Harry, and watches Harry’s eyes flutter shut as his face is painted with his cum. 

Louis takes a deep breath and shuffles down Harry’s body a bit. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I love you, so much,” he breathes before he licks his cum from Harry’s cheeks and chin. He swallows it, very deliberately while staring at Harry, and then licks the bit from Harry’s lips. He sticks his tongue out and waits for Harry to sucks his tongue into his mouth. 

As soon as Harry’s got Louis’ tongue, and cum, in his mouth he lets out a moan and grips the back of Louis’ head to pull him closer. He licks everywhere in Louis’ mouth chasing the taste of him until he’s determined there’s nothing left. Louis pulls back and leaves a kiss to his bottom lip. “I think we need to shower.” He makes a face and rests his forehead against Harry’s.

Harry nods and grabs at Louis’ right hand to entwine their fingers. He kisses his palm and looks at his wrist, then his own. “Hey, our tattoos kinda match. That’s so cute.” 

Louis looks down to said tattoos and giggles. “Oh my god, Zayn’s gonna think I conned you into it.”

Harry just shrugs and kisses Louis’ nose. “Shower?” 

***

Harry’s making a fry up with Louis plastered to his back when they hear the front door. He looks over his shoulder as Zayn and Liam walk into the kitchen and smiles bashfully, before returning his attention back to the pan in front of him. Louis and him are only in their pants, having just gotten out of the shower, and he should be a bit embarrassed, but he can’t be bothered when the man he loves is clinging to his back like a koala. Harry’s probably smiling like an idiot into his frying pan. 

When breakfast is finished, he makes up a plate for each of them carefully balancing them on the way to the table. “This is enough food for a baby, Harold.”

Harry finishes handing out the plates before sitting next to Louis and poking him on the nose, laughing at the way he goes cross eyed trying to see Harry’s finger. “Well, Lewis, I didn’t know everyone would be here for breakfast. Stop whining. I’ll make something else if you’re still hungry.” Louis hums and then finally nods before tucking into his breakfast. 

Zayn clears his throat and pokes at his food. “So, you guys left early last night. What happened?”

“I punched Nick in the face,” Louis says nonchalantly around his mouthful. “He threatened to call the cops so we bailed.”

 

Liam promptly chokes on his food while Zayn laughs and hits him on the back. “Ah, alright. Good reason to leave.” 

Harry looks at Louis with stars in his eyes and smiles beautifully. “He saved me.” 

Louis looks up at him from under his lashes, swallows his bite before speaking, “‘Course I did, baby. I love you. I didn’t want anyone to hurt you.” Harry absolutely preens and kisses Louis square on the mouth. 

Zayn gasps, like he’s affronted, and Liam chokes again. “You guys are together?” Liam wheezes. 

Harry nods and continues to kiss Louis as Zayn throws a piece of egg at his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? Also, this is gross. Please, stop.”

 

Louis flips Zayn the bird from behind Harry’s back and lets out an exaggerated moan, swipes his tongue comically against Harry’s lower lip, which, gross. Harry pulls back with a frown, but really, he couldn’t be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> [erikabearikuh](http://erikabearikuh.tumblr.com) on tumblr.   
>  Thank you for reading!


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